we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
