Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize