So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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