Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
