she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
