You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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