he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
