I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
