so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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