She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
