Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
