So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
