drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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