I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
