no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
