that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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