You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
being pregnant is like rehab
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
