that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
