ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Will you blow on my dice?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
