It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
