He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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