Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
