When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
