C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
