The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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