I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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