Sry I called you an 8
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
