Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if only i could text you this smell
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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