Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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