I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize