Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
