we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im six kinds of drunk right now
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
try to milk me bitch
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