He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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