The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My pussy is not your playground.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
