Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize