Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
