He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Still dying that you shit outside
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My dick has a subreddit
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
