sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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