i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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