Don't you send me to vm
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
