Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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