How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
