My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
