So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
