Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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