What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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