so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
