she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
