Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
