Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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