i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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