I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
