I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
