I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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