Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just pee around me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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