I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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