walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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