OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
