Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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