that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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