3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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