who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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