you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
