just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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