I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize