I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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