My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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