So drunk its hurt
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
