Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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