That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
