in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
