We won't sleep together?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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