I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
