There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
