His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize