I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
