Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
