Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
